I seem to have a new friend. I don't know her name. I know that sounds strange. I find myself thinking of her often, throughout the day. When I'm frustrated with my messy house, suddenly I see my friend in hers and I repent. My house is spacious and has running water, and heat. My friend lives in a small hut the size of my childrens' bathroom with a dirt floor. My house is cluttered with all the things she and her children do not have. When I complain about having a headache, I remember my friend, and I repent. She is burning with fever and though she feels like lying in bed all day, she gets up and walks two miles to get dirty water for her family. Today when I felt overwhelmed with the responsibilities that come with five children and all their needs, I remembered my friend and I repented. My husband will help shoulder all that I carry this week in taking care of our five children, but my friend will care alone for many more, in spite of her health and lack of resource. I could go on...when I am frustrated by our "lack" of resources, when I "can't" find clean clothes for everyone to wear because I haven't used my washing machine to wash them, when I don't know what to make for dinner because there's "no food" in the house because I haven't had time to drive to the grocery store and swipe my check card for a basket load of groceries........but you get the idea.
I can't explain it. She's just there, constantly in my thoughts. Don't get the idea that I've finally gone off my rocker (that happened a long time ago). She doesn't talk to me and she is not imaginary. In fact, she is quite real. She is God's gift to me - a constant reminder. Not a reminder to be thankful for what I have because I am so "blessed". I am thankful, and I should be. No, she is a constant reminder to me of Luke 12:48. "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." I've said it before. I wasn't born into a wealthy nation and given a home and a family and two cars and an education and great medical care and clean water and food in abundance because God loves me more than He loves HER. I also don't think I just won some kind of heavenly lottery, making me the one who happened to be holding this ticket, while SHE held hers. Let's face it. I honestly believe that for whatever reason, God chose my life for me as a test of my heart. My friend loves Jesus purely. He is her hope and her joy. Period. Do I love Jesus like that? Or am I distracted by the very things I call "blessing." I truly believe that I must find a different definition of blessing, because it is not these material comforts that distract me and tempt me to divert my gaze from a simple and pure-hearted devotion to Christ. I'm not ungrateful, but let's face it...maybe some days I am a little too grateful for these "blessings" because I don't wish to live like HER.
He told us in Matt. 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." So these material comforts I call "blessings" actually qualify as earthly treasures and I am clearly instructed (DO NOT) not to store them up for myself here on earth. In other words, my focus is all wrong when I count my material comforts as "blessings" and even more wrong when I'm tempted to spend any time pursuing them or saving them for later. There is something else there. Something I'm totally missing. The treasures of heaven. They don't look like my nice suburban house, my cars, my food, my bank account, my clean water....
So where are these treasures? What is it that I am to count worthy of spending my time saving and investing my thoughts and heart into? I don't have to look far for my answer. I only have to look outside my bubble and look at HER. She is an African woman, dying of AIDS, with 8 children who wakes up every day wondering who will care for her children once she is gone. I don't know her name, only that there are thousands upon thousands like her. From my vantage point, she lives in a dark place. She lives "there" in one of those places where I don't like to go in my head because I am confronted with these questions that swirl through my heart. In my way of seeing the world, her place is dark, hopeless. And there are many others who live in that same dark place....children being sold for sex, millions of them. Babies lying hopeless in cold, dark, damp orphanages in Eastern Europe. A little girl growing up in my daughter's old orphanage in China....except now she is being "fostered" by abusive parents and will NEVER be adopted or know love on this earth....that one hits a little too close to home. Why did my daughter get picked? Is she blessed? What about the other little girl - Is she NOT blessed? I have to admit that I can spend days or even weeks musing over these things and have no ability to express them or even come up with a clue about why my mind keeps finding itself there. But then, the clouds clear and a little light breaks through. And this is what I see: "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." (Isa. 45) That's it. That's where the treasure is. In the dark places. And He will give this treasure to me so that I will know He is God. But I have to be willing to go to the dark places to find it. In the end, what is the "much more" that is asked of ME? It's choosing to go to the dark places. SHE doesn't have to go out of her way for that....SHE is already there.
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